It's Called a Tribute
by Famirad
Summary: How twenty years of Mobile Suit Gundam started. Really. (Mostly MSG).
1. It's Called a Prologue

Gundam Tribute **It's Called a Tribute**   
by Famira Damaris 

**Disclaimer**: Feh, don't own Gundam.   
**Author's** **Notes**: Exactly what the title says: this fanfic is a tribute to a fellow author. It's also a Gundam fanfic (this takes place in the original Gundam timeline) and (hopefully) a humor fic. Random silliness, blah blah blah and self-insertations by the author. 

And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks. Even if you did criticize me and say I was trying too hard. Besides, you can think of this as a quasi-apology for the bitchy cat-fight. ^_^; 

--------------------------------   
It's Called a Prologue   
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One day, this guy thought of something. It was so utterly cool, that he decided that, hot damn, he was going to make a TV show out of it! He wanted to call it "Giant Super Robots in Disguise Kicking A Lot of Ass", but someone decided that title sucked and so he called it "Gundam". Good for him! The problem was, it was the late 70's: all those neat hippie drugs weren't as cool as they used be, so he couldn't just recall some freaky mind trip and put that down as the show. 

Oh no, it had to be "realistic". Whatever that is. 

So anyway, 'cause this guy's from Japan he decides it's just gotta be anime. What better way to show robots kicking the crap out of each other? This guy says to himself (in *gasp* Japanese!), "Okay, I got animated giant robots. What else do I need?" Why, that's a silly question! 

Explosions! 

Ah-_ha_, he knew he'd hit the bullseye, 'cause who _doesn't_ like seeing stuff blow up? No one! 

Exactly. But on with my story... 

But before he can get his idea onto those animation cells, he's told that no, it's gotta have a plot! Well, that sucks for him, because this guy didn't have a plot - he just wanted animated robots trouncing each other and transforming into stuff. But they (being the directors) wanted a plot. I suppose they could've gotten into some long involved argument and made a big scene and everything, but they didn't. Okay! 

So off he goes! He comes back a little while later and they ask him what the plot is. He tells them: "Giant robots beating each other up in the year UC 0079! It's a battle between two opposing forces, one a large, overwhelming federation, the other, a small rebellion with a secret weapon in their hands! Caught in the middle of this is a whiny, plucky young teenager who's forced to join this federation, discovering later that he has these super-cool mental powers so he can kick even more ass with his ultra-powered robot!" 

Sounds like _Star Wars_, but almost cooler. Mostly because of the giant robots. 

Did I say that giant robots kick a lot of ass? 

The directors nodded. His plot sounded vaguely familar, but they thought the fact that UC 0079 "happened" to coincide with the current year was just too darned cool to be ignored. It was pretty cool, because that year was 1979. Funky. 

"So," they said, "You're a genius! What're you gonna call this show of yours?" 

** ....**

"I," said he, after a dramatic pause in the narration, "am going to call it..." 

** ....**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**

Hey, neat, stairs made out of periods! I didn't know I could indent all over the place! That's so cool! 

Oh, the story! Right. 

"Giant Super Robots in Disguise Kicking A Lot of Ass." Actually, he said it with a little more class, but I thought it sounded neat this way, so that's what the original title was. The directors gave him a strange look and bluntly told him the title sucked. So he suggested "Gundam" out of the blue, which sounded just as trippy as the whole UC 0079 thing. So "Gundam" it was. 

Now that the whole name thing was settled, this guy decides he needs to think up some characters. And 'cause I've already established it's the late 70's, and it's gotta be realistic, he realizes all the characters have to have all these different nationalities. That means no bishounen. 

Which sucks. In fact, that sucks so much, I'm gonna have to edit some things here...there! 

Correction! Actually, there were two bishounen. Their names were Bright Noah and Char Aznable. Since this Gundam guy was trying to think up names for these characters, he decides to pick all these names from random English words. Why? 

Because...uh... 

...well... 

....because. That's it! _Because_! 

Since there were only two bishounen in _Gundam_, this guy decides to make up this battleship and give it all these confusing names, so everyone conveniently forgets the low bish-factor. First it's White Base, than it's the Wooden Horse, and suddenly it's the Trojan Horse. 

Damn confusing. 

So, he's got this "motley" cast of characters: Amuro Ray, our whiny plucky teenager, is the main character. Now he's got everything ready to be animated, but that whole process is sorta boring, so I'll cut to the chase: 

_Gundam_ was made. And for the story of the _Gundam_ characters that follows.... 

... 

... 

Nah, some other time.   
  


Continue?   
>>>>> 

Not much to say, except I drank this huge-ass "cherry" slushee and I didn't get hyper, which has to be one of the more bizarre experiences in my life. I'd like to start on the actual UC Gundam anime (not just the "true" embellishment of the creation of Gundam)...peh.... 

But one thing to say: UC Gundam does, and always will, kick-ass, even with the animation quality. 

- Famira Damaris   
*Avid Yamcha fan   
* Bright Noah and Char Aznable Supporter   
  



	2. It's Called Character Introduction

Tribute 2 **It's Called a Tribute**   
by Famira Damaris 

**Disclaimer**: Feh, don't own Gundam.   
**Author's** **Notes**: Exactly what the title says: this fanfic is a tribute to a fellow author. It's also a Gundam fanfic (this takes place in the original Gundam timeline) and (hopefully) a humor fic. Random silliness, confusion over White Base/Trojan Horse/Wooden Horse, jumping back and worth between character voice actors (Bright's done by the Japanese Kuno, example, while Amuro's done by the English Quatre) yaoi implications, references to grown men liking Pokemon (Pokeballs), etc... Concerning UC Gundam: I'm starting with the first episode of Mobile Suit Gundam 0079, but I **missed** the **first two episodes**, so I'm winging it from what I remember from that manga: or I'll be **making it up** (usually with dialogue if I don't know it and the situations: don't bother flaming me about this). With the narrations at the beginning of episodes, I'm bypassing. And at the beginning, I'm focusing on Bright Noah. 

And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks. 

--------------------------------   
It's Called Character Introduction   
-------------------------------- 

Well, enough about the creator of _Gundam_'s drama-less tale and more about the ass-kicking robots! 

Which, I've already established, is what's cool about _Gundam_. 

So, this concept got made into an anime...which I also already established. This is not the story of the _Gundam_ creator...this is the story of _Gundam_ itself. That means out of 1979, and into UC 0079. Got that? 

Good, 'cause I'm too lazy to repeat myself. 

It all started out on a typically usual night: usual in that it was dark and nights are usually dark. At least they were the last time I checked so that's how it was this particular night. Actually, if you think about it, it's practically always night in space, which is where this story begins. Whatever! All you need to know is that it was dark and usual and that it would be pretty damn cold if anyone happened to be floating around in space. 

Anyway, dragging itself through this particular stretch of space was a Federal barge. Hell, let's make it a battleship, just because barges aren't as cool looking! This _battleship_ happened to be armed to the teeth with all these guns and missiles and all this other stuff and was basically too badass to describe. In other words, it was pretty nifty. For the sake of the story, let's call it "White Base". It was white. It was also a base. It had fins for wings. It also had this weird tower thingie that started to resemble the head of a horse if you stared long enough at the screen until the image began to swim. 

But it wasn't made out of wood. Nor was it from Troy. 

This battleship that was neither wooden nor Trojan was in fact a Pegasus-class Earth Federation space vessel. Basically, its purpose was to fly around and blow stuff up just like everything does in _Gundam_. Now, White Base wasn't particularly good at its job but to avoid pointing fingers and to save valuable narration time, we can say its the fault of the crew and not the poor ship itself. God knows it tried hard enough, and it deserves brownie points for effort. 

The only reason this specific ship had any significance at all was because onboard were not just one, but _two_ (count 'em!), two important characters! Which is cool, 'cause it sucks when it takes forever to get characters introduced. 

Anyway, one of these main characters was at this very moment slowly making his way up to the bridge: slowly because the bridge happened to be at the top of the damn ship which had been built like a maze with _way_ too many random corridors. He was an American...wait, no, forget that! He was _English_ and would kick a lot of ass if he wasn't in the lowly position of the White Base's quartermaster. He was one of the afore-mentioned bishounen. He also had a _very_ low paying salary. 

I feel sorry for him, don't you? 

His name was Bright Noah.. If he wasn't so darn cool, I'd laugh at him - 

"Hey!" 

What? 

"I've got feelings! Don't talk about me as if I'm not here!" 

Er......_hey!_ You can't talk to me like that! I'm narrating this damn thing! Hell, I could make you a _mechanic_ instead of just quartermaster if you keep up that sass... 

"Eiee..." 

That's better. So anyway, Bright Noah was English and stuff. He had curly black hair and these beady little brown eyes that looked cool just because they were his. He wasn't really that good at his job, but then again, neither was anyone else on White Base. All you need to know is that most people aren't particularly good at anything and Bright wasn't much of an exception. 

In fact, the only reason he stood out above the others was the fact that he was bish. And English. And sounded like Kuno. Sometimes he had the strange urge to wear all blue and spout off random lines of poetry. But he didn't. He had self-control. 

He was _that_ cool. 

Bright was (at the moment) cursing his commander for being such a jerk and calling him up to the bridge. He _knew_ that Bright was working in the bottom of the damn ship, but no-o-o, it was "get your ass up here!" So here he was, trying to haul ass to the top of White Base and getting lost numerous amounts of times in the hallways. He'd been enlisted in the Federal forces for six months now: am I the only one wondering how he could be lost in the first place? 

He stopped to take a rest: only because he was tired. 

He wasn't even halfway up the height of the ship: he'd been called up over an hour ago. The ship was that big. He was that lost. 

It was that embarrassing. 

"I'm tired," Bright said to no one in particular. He didn't usually think out loud or state the obvious, but it made him feel less like an idiot for being so lost. But his situation was still pretty humiliating, so he stopped doing the above after the first few moments. He leaned against the wall, managing to look bishounen even his Earth Federation-issued uniform and tights. 

Hey...wait a minute...two bishounen....that means... 

....carry the five...divide by two.... 

_Ah-ha_! Possible yaoi! 

"Really?" Bright's eyes lit up. 

Really. If you do the math, there's two bishounen and one quasi-bishounen. Excluding you, there's Char and Amuro: that means one'll get left over unless your guys organize something... 

"Who're they?" Bright had a blank look on his ridiculously handsome face: mostly because he wasn't sure why he was even talking to a loud voice from the sky, much less engaging in conversation with it. 

Nevermind! You'll find out soon enough. ¬_¬ 

"You suck, you know that?" 

Hey-y-y-y... 

Bright suddenly decided he wasn't all that tired. He resumed his journey, however, with a wide, eager grin that had absolutely nothing to do with duty. You don't have to be a yaoi-fan to figure out what's going on in _his_ brain. Eh heh heh... 

He's _so_ seme. 

Mmm...seme Bright. Kinky 

>>>>>> 

Meanwhile, elsewhere on this huge Pegasus-class ship, the other main character was busy with random repairs. He didn't know what the hell he was repairing or why he was doing it, but that was his job: he repaired things. He, unfortunately, wasn't a bish like Bright Noah, which sucks, because for a big, fat guy, Ryu kicked a lot of ass. 

He knew it too. 

Ryu was Hispanic, but no one questioned his Japanese name because no one on White Base had noticed that little irregularity. He was big. He was also fat. He liked short people because he could look down at them. He also had an avid fear of flying in fighters: mostly because he had this weird little urge to fly them into things. Normal people call this "foreshadowing", which is exactly what this is. 

That's not important right now, though. 

What _is_ important was that he was repairing something. It was small and round and red/white all over - but it wasn't the result of a nasty joke. But since all narrators are omnipotent, we know it to be a**...**

** ....**

To be a... 

** ....**

** ....**

** ...**Well, shit. I don't know what the hell it is either. It isn't nasty or perverted, so let's just leave it at that. I'm starting to get a headache trying to figure these things out. 

Ryu ground his teeth together as he repaired the red orb: he'd been told to fix the thing by the commander, but without instructions, just to "sit your sorry ass (the commander was especially fond of the word 'ass' for some unexplained reason) down and repair my damn ball!" Ignoring all the possible subtext in those orders, Ryu went along with his job, randomly fiddling with the red/white ball and unknowingly creating the first Ultimate, All-Powerful Secret Weapon that had enough fire power to wipe out the entire galaxy. Of course, this has nothing to do with the story but I thought it was an interesting fact. 

Anyway, in other words, Ryu was busy. He usually was - tonight was no different. He didn't really mind being busy, because that was his job, and it kept him from brooding over such things as flying fighters into stuff, which was more than a little disturbing. 

He thought about that a lot. It never struck him as very ominous. 

>>>>>> 

There was also a chef aboard White Base. He bears utterly no significance to our story. 

>>>>>> 

Now it's all nice and dandy that we've been introduced the two main characters on White Base. However, much as these two kick so much ass, it's time to move on to the other characters. Right now, all you need to remember is that Ryu and Bright were soldiers on the confusing ship known as White Base/Trojan Horse/Wooden Horse, and that this ship was going somewhere and no one noticed the Zeon (that's the "rebellion" thingie faction) ships following them. Why? 

Probably because no one bothered to take a look over their shoulders or they would have seen the enemy ships only a few yards away. It's not that hard to sneak up on Federal soldiers. _Duh._ That's why the big, huge Federation has such a hard time beating the crap out of the smaller Duchy of Zeon. It's the _Star Wars_ Empire-Rebellion syndrome, but with giant robots. 

Actually, the Zeon ships were from the police force: they were frantically trying to get the ridiculously huge White Base to pull over, to no avail. One of the Pegasus-class ship's brake lights were broken and they were merely trying to point it out. Don't we love our friendly cops in green? 

Back to the story! 

Now, let's leave these two characters behind for a while and focus on a colony! Actually, I'm supposed to call it a "Side", but it looks like a space colony to me, so that's what it's gonna be. Anyway, there were a bunch of these things floating around Earth because someone thought it would be pretty cool to have 'em. They were numbered for cataloguing uses, but it shouldn't have been that hard to remember all of them, since there weren't that many to begin with. 

We must turn to a specific one, one known only as Side 7. This sounds terribly mysterious, which is why a good number of our other main characters enter here. Kinda makes sense**...**I guess. 

In Side 7, there was this short, plucky, and inevitably whiny fifteen year old. He bore a surprising resemblance to a certain Jedi**:** both had these funky 70's haircuts, both were characters that had very little significance until they hooked up with the underdog factions and both got to do some serious ass-kicking. Both had these ridiculously slashy moments with the older, side character and we know that somehow, both are going to develop these neat mental super powers. 

Cool. 

But _not_ cool enough to be badass. Y'see, this kid was called Amuro Ray. We know he's the hero and protoganist of this story because 1) he's fifteen 2) he's the best looking of the teenagers in the show 3) he has _way_ too many angsty scenes and 4) is _asking_ for a wake-up bitch slap. Main characters just can't be badass. It's a proven fact. 

Amuro lived in Side 7 with his weird father: by a seemingly bizarre turn of events, his parents had seperated and he had tagged along with his father to this particular Side - which (by yet another seemingly bizarre turn of events) was the destination of the White Base/Wooden Horse/Trojan Horse (that was, of course, neither wooden nor Trojan). What a coincidence! 

** ....**

Okay, whatever. Besides Amuro, there were these other characters that didn't happen to have as much screen time but thought they deserved as much recognition, so I guess I better introduce them as well. First up! 

Sayla Mass: a French medic and a girl possessing gravity-defying blond hair with a "mysterious" (insert sarcastic cough *here*) past! 

Mirai Yashima: Don't know what exactly she does, but I think she has this thing with flying stuff. Not a good match with Ryu! 

Kai Shidan: the beady-eyed Puerte Rican guy that looks an awful lot like a weasel**:** but he's a _good_ guy! Scary! 

Hayato: Don't even know his last name: the kid you keep thinking is gonna die every episode! Note to self: possible "partner" for Ryu...¬_¬ 

Three war orphans: Don't know their names, don't care, don't even like children! Mostly here to provide unnecessary whining! 

And last of all**....**

** ... ... ... ... ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ... ... ... ... ...**   
  


** ... ... ... ... ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ...**   
** ... ... ... ... ...**   


_ G _s e e i t 

_ u_

_ n_

_ d_

_ a_

_ m_   


Salt, along with some subliminal messaging! Ah, didn't that feel good? Can't forget the salt or the commerical crap: salt makes the world go round, a lesson that should be learned, as well as hinting to more foreshadowing. Everyone loves a quick commerical break and a little suspense, which leads into: 

Will the White Base/Wooden Horse/Trojan Horse make it to Side 7? Will they _ever_ notice the Zeon cops behind them? Will they _ever_ replace that broken brake light? How many White Base personel does it take to change a lightbulb anyway? Does anyone even care?   
  


**_Game Over or Continue?_**   
**>>>>>**   
Trying to slow down the pace from the last one. Appreciate the three reviews I got: just want to say thanks to those that read what I wrote - you guys encouraged me to add more and attempt to do the actual anime part. Don't know if this is as humorous as the first chapter: but hey, I tried. ^_^; This probably makes sense to those who've seen most of UC Gundam: such as the salt reference, bitch slaps to Amuro and Ryu's core-fighting "fears". 

Well, that's it. Please take a look at my other fanfics if you like Generator Gawl or MSTs if you've got time to kill. Comments, suggestions, flames, feel free to e-mail me at **shampoo_famira@yahoo.com** or AIM me at **S Duo Maxwell 02**. Oh, and if people like what they say, please put "Continue" in your review: if you don't, than say "Game Over" in your flame. ^_^ Always wanted to do this with that little trippy phrase. 

- **Famira Damaris**   
*Avid Yamcha fan   
* Bright Noah and Char Aznable Supporter   



	3. It's Called the Beginning of Episode One

**It's Called a Tribute**

  
by Famira Damaris 

**Disclaimer**: Feh, don't own Gundam.   
**Author's Note**s: Third installation of this little odd series, now following the first episode since I've gotten a hold of the first DVD! Damn, but I think it's entirely in English, so I can't hear Bright's Japanese voice actor :(. What a bummer. Oh well. Man, but Bright looks so...so..._bishounen_ in his first appearance! ^_^ Yummy! 

I'm too lazy to get the exchange between the Zeon Zakus in the beginning, so again, I'm making it up. Same thing with the theme song: I HAVE seen it, and I just realized it doesn't really have any ass kickings or explosions. And I've noticed I'm focusing on Bright a lot...next chapter I'll focus more on Amuro and Frau. Oh well. O_O 

On with the fic! 

And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks. 

--------------------------------   
It's Called the Beginning of Episode One   
-------------------------------- 

What with the character introductions being over, the narrator decided to cut the crap and get on with the show. 

And to the true spotlight of _Gundam_: the vast amount of explosions! 

Keeping this in mind, the first episode of _Gundam_ now truly begins. First the campy theme song, which, ignoring all the Japanese singing, basically consisted of trippy 70's music, robots transforming and beating the hell out of stuff and the word "Gundam" repeated over and over with Amuro prancing about in his Federation tights followed by nicely-animated Bright that seemed vaguely slashy to the audience. After another round of multi-colored explosions to drive the point home, the theme song mercifully ended: merciful because it bore a faint resemblance to a crazy mind trip that made sense. Mind trips suck when they make sense. 

So the story begins...in space. 

A bunch of Mobile Suits (fancy words for ass-kicking robots) were approaching the aforementioned Side 7. They were green and big and had spikes and shields and they had --- 

** _Holy shit!!!_**_ O_O_

They've only got **_one_** eye!!! 

** ...**

** ...**

Whew...gonna need a breather. Almost had a heart attack from the surprise. There! 

These Mobile Suits had _one_ eye each. There wasn't an particular reason for this being so and all I know is that they look pretty badass with that swiveling pink light thing. This thingies were called Zakus. On a daily basis they flew around and blew the stuffing out of things. Also, whenever anyone happened to look at them, their eyes would light up - which didn't make much sense, since the things should have been on the whole time. Of course, it didn't really matter, since they had **_one_** eye. Which makes them automatically cool. 

There were about three of these guys and three Zeon pilots. They wore green. They were short. They all also bore an intense hatred for leprechauns. 

Not that _that_ matters, but... 

"Sir, we're nearing Side 7. Orders?" said one of the pilots sitting in a Zaku cockpit. Let's call this guy "Joe". Most people in anime with the name "Joe" have a tendency to die, so...well, go figure! 

The commanding officer leaned back in his own cockpit, crossing his arms over his chest and attempting to look composed. He failed miserably: mostly because it's ridiculously hard to look impressive in a dinky green space. He didn't say anything because he thought he looked more thoughtful if he didn't answer the question. 

The other soldier mumbled something of no importance. His name, by amazing coincidence, was also "Joe"...no, actually it was "Jonathan", but he was always called "Joe". Up to this point in his rather insignicant and boring life, he'd this weird nagging feeling that someday, somewhere, he was going to die. Now, this is something that was pretty obvious and shouldn't have been terribly worrisome, but he always had this ominous feeling that he'd blow up. He'd always figured he'd get run over by some semi carrying mechanical pencils or stabbed to death by a bunch of mimes with sporks, but explosions it was. 

In other words, this collection of Zeon men was primarily cannon fodder for the bloodthirsty audience. 

The three Zakus were soon in the shadow of the Side 7 colony thingie. Joe (let's change this Joe to Joe 01), was getting fed up with his squad. No one had answered his question. 

"Now what?" he demanded. He was particularly nervous because he just had a major case of deja vu: the feeling that he'd been here before. He then remembered that he'd been to Side 7 only two days ago. He'd been looking for some AA batteries. He continued on, as nervous as already mentioned, "Are we gonna attack or what?" 

"..." said the commanding officer. Actually, it's physically impossible to say silence, but somehow this guy did it. 

Joe 02 mumbled something that had completely nothing to do with the question. He suddenly remembered that he also needed batteries. 

"Dammit, what the hell are we doing here?!" 

"..." 

There was a moment of wary silence from Joe 02: he was busy looking for any random explosions. He didn't particularly look forward to dying today, but the sense of forboding was particularly strong. 

>>>>>>>>>>> 

Meanwhile, the Zeon ships traveling behind the White Base-that wasn't-Trojan-nor-wooden were still tailing the ship. They were now resorting to loudspeakers in their efforts to get the larger battleship's attention. 

"[Unidentified and probably highly-classified Earth Federation ship! Please pull over for an inspection! This is the police! YOUR _TAIL LIGHTS_ ARE OUT!]" 

This message blared from every loudspeaker on the ships. 

The White Base failed to notice the Zeon. The Zeon continued their demands. 

Sound, of course, doesn't travel in space. 

>>>>>>>>>>>> 

"...Pissed," Bright Noah said. He tried the word out again and decided he liked how it sounded, "I think I'm pissed." 

The poor, lowly, and bishounen quartermaster was once again trudging his way through the corridors of the White Base: this time in the opposite direction. This, of course, was the very reason the British officer decided he was pissed. This was a relatively new feeling to the black-haired bishounen - usually he was either irritated or bored, but never really angry. He decided he liked being pissed. He furrowed his eyebrows experimentally and frowned, looking, almost impossibly, even more bishounen than before. _Yes_, Bright thought,_ I like this feeling. Being pissed is good._

This little train of thought pretty much explained just why the quartermaster looked as cool and determinedly pissed as he will further on in the story: this can be explained further through the miracles of mathematics. 

Without further ado, a demonstration: 

Bright Noah + Bad Day + Low Pay x Bishounen Factor = Pissed Bright Noah 

And...upon carrying the variable of the bish factor... 

Pissed Bright Noah = Satisfied Bright Noah. Therefore, being pissed is good. 

Psychedelic. 

Now that he had this all figured out for future episodes of the story, he decided to reflect on the reason why he was now heading _down_ and not up anymore. Not because he needed to remember why, but because he had this strange feeling he just _should_. This strange feeling was also the same thing that made him talk out loud for no reason. 

"Stupid!" Bright announced to no one in particular, "Why'd the commander order me to the bridge if he was just gonna order me to haul my ass to Deck 2?" 

There was a pause, both the audience and Bright realizing this sounded terribly slashy. He couldn't stop the automatic grin rising up on his face at the mention of slash and for the moment lost the pissed expression, gaining a far more ominous one ---**> >:}**

"Eh heh heh..." 

He then realized that he was cackling over an old man and abruptly stopped, making a face. He decided he had enough of this and wandering around White Base bored out of his mind, and decided to strike up a conversation with the friendly, resident narrator. 

"Hi." 

Hi. 

"How are you?" 

Oh, fine, fine. You know how things are, narrating and stuff. You? 

"Sort of bored. Kind of lonely, but mostly bored." 

Lonely, eh? ¬¬ I can fix that. 

"Oh?" 

Does meeting an uke sound good? 

Bright was so startled that he promptly walked into a wall. It would have looked immensely stupid if anyone had been watching. 

"An uke?! When can I meet him?" Bright demanded, nursing a bruised nose and a damaged ego., "Is he really an uke?" 

Oh, su-u-u-u-u-r-r-r-e-e-e-e ¬.¬...angsty and short and everything! 

"What about whiny? You know the bitchy ones are the best." 

Bitchy to the extreme and asking for a slap, Bright. The whole uke package. 

"Wait a minute...there's a catch, isn't there? There's always a catch." 

Uh....no...no catch. ^_^ None whatsoever. 

Bright decided he had something to look forward to, "So when will I, uh, meet this guy?" He sounded perky, for obvious reasons. 

As soon as you finish the errand. Guess you won't be so bored, huh? 

Bright beamed and nodded. He liked this. A great deal. He was probably so eager because he hadn't gotten any for a long, long time. 

Have fun...ah....bonding ^___^ 

So it was settled. Cool. 

So anyway, Bright was heading in the opposite direction he had first started out in: if at all possible, twice as lost as he'd been before. He was making his way to Deck 2 - which, although already mentioned, doesn't mean anything. Mostly because the audience has no idea where the hell Deck 2 (or Deck 1 for that matter) is even located in relation to White Base's ridiculously huge-ass-ness. So it didn't really matter that Bright was headed to Deck 2. All we need to know is that he was going _somewhere_ and this somewhere would become very important. 

Bright spent a few more minutes of pointless wandering and not getting anything accomplished. He took several wrong lefts, came back to where he started, took a right, decided he needed a bathroom break, took a left, a right, ran into a closet and backtracked, took another left, went down some random stairs, took a lift up to a few floors higher, and... 

Whoa...I _don't_ get how the hell that just happened... 

By some freak accident, Bright found himself standing near a large plaque with the lettering "Deck 2". The English man decided he wasn't going to push his luck and entered the said Deck. He spent three minutes trying to push the door open when he suddenly remembered that all the doors were automatic. He punched in the command to open the door. The door hissed open smugly and he had the impression it was laughing at him. 

Bright's face fell as he saw who he was supposed to pick up. It was Tem Ray, an old man that did nothing but babble incessantly about nothing in particular. He felt some mild foreshadowing, but mostly he felt upset because he hated babbling old men. And because old men always got the senior discount on coffee. 

Bright happened to find that insanely unfair. 

He then remember that the quicker he got Tem Ray up to the bridge, the more time he'd have with _his_ uke. That made the situation totally different. 

"Lieutenant Ray!" said Bright, saluting: he felt particularly silly saluting because the old fart's back was turned, "We're going through the docking procedure. You're needed up at the bridge." 

While he was speaking, Bright realized he didn't know where the hell the bridge was in the first place. _Oh crap_, was basically Bright's train of thought. 

Tem Ray stood up, and nodded. Bright suddenly had the feeling that he didn't hear what he said, because the next question was completely out of the blue: 

"You're Bright Noah, right? How old are you?" 

Bright couldn't help wondering what brought this question on, but decided that Tem was senile. 

"I'm nineteen," he said in that special patronizing tone reserved for the very young or very old. 

"You've been in the service for what, six months?" 

"Yes, sir." 

Tem looked down at the very conspicuous picture frame on his desk and moved away so Bright had a good look. It was a young brown-haired boy with a terribly angsty expression on his face. Bright suddenly had the faint suspicion that hey, this just might be _his_ uke. He wisely didn't say anything, keeping his glee to himself. 

"I heard there's even kids _his_ age," a jerk of the thumb at the picture, "fighting in this war as guerillas. Is this true?" 

Bright was more concerned with herding the old man back to the bridge than chit chat about the war effort. He stepped aside from the door, not really listening to his charge. 

"Yeah," he replied, hoping this answer would shut him up. As he was saying this, the Englishman's mindset ran something like this: _oh dear God…I _know_ where this is going…this is _always_ happening to me_ – _he's going to talk my ear off…why can't people like him just shut up for a few minutes?_ He wondered what he was going to do: he didn't really want to pay attention to Tem's rambling, but he knew he was going to have a long trip with him (Bright _still_ didn't know where the bridge was. He only knew it was somewhere in the Up-ish direction) and it wasn't going to be any fun. 

He decided that some non-committal grunts would probably do. 

"How terrible. It's a terrible war." 

"Yes. Very terrible," Bright mumbled. 

"And this weather!" 

"Very terrible." Another mutter. 

"What rank are you?" 

"Very terrible." 

"Ah, that's nice. You're a nice, pleasant young man." 

Tem babbled and ranted and rambled for the rest of the journey – Bright continued to drown him out. 

Bright was bored out of his mind. Lucky for him, the story's just about to pick up.   


Game Over or Continue?   
>>>>>>>>>>>>   
Waigh, sorry, got too lazy to finish the episode! Next chapter! o_O Plus, I've been having some trouble with family affairs, so it's not a good idea for me to start watching the MSG 0079 DVD right now ~_~ Not much to say, other then I'll probably be updating this chapter or adding a new one some time in the future. This chapter's just temporary until I have more time to fix it (thus, very rough, very blegh >_)   
  
Uke (for those that don't know) is the "submissive" and quiet one in a yaoi pairing. Seme is the opposite, the dominating, more outgoing personality (_usually_ taller and older). 

Suggestions, death threats, flames, reviews, requests, whatever, feel free to **e-mail** me at **shampoo_famira@yahoo.com** or **AIM** me at **S Duo Maxwell 02**. Thanks for reading ^.^ 

- Famira Damaris   
  
  
  
  
  



	4. It's Called the Tennis Ball

**It's Called a Tribute**

by Famira Damaris 

**Disclaimer**: Feh, don't own Gundam. Wish I did...I'd be able to glomp onto Bernie, Bright, Char and Camille! *huggles a group of plushees*   
**Author's Note**s: Fourth installation of this little odd series. Yes, I know the Prologue is completely false, so I'd rather not have people telling me it was THIS or THAT way, when I didn't even bother researching into it (such as the Zaku pilots: no, their real names are NOT Joe) :p Anywaays.... Shounen-ai, shojo-ai and other stuff running amuck. This is really just random stupidity, so...er...yeah. ¬¬ 

More on Amuro, blah blah blah and on with the fic! 

And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks.   


--------------------------------   
It's Called the Tennis Ball   
-------------------------------- 

Side 7 has, or rather, _had_ a problem. It was basically this: everyone was angry. Maybe it was because of the lack of explosions. Maybe it was because it was utterly boring. It might have even been the fact that there was a tiny hole in the colony's side and that it was a widely known fact that a cubic foot of oxygen drained out every month. That certainly explained the random bouts of lightheadedness that everyone experienced at least once a day. 

But, despite all this futile pondering, none of these were true except for the hole in the colony. In fact, the only reason everyone was angry was because it was so darn _fun_. 

This particular day was, as already explained, pretty usual. Normal, even. You could see the city curling up in the sky through the break in the clouds, there weren't any random bouts of rain, a Top Secret Battleship was going to be docking to pick up the Top Secret Giant Robot parts, and three Zakus were presently trying to figure a way to sneak into the colony in a way that was quiet-like, yet impressive. 

Yup. All in all, a pretty normalish day. 

Because of the Top Secret Battleship - which everyone in the colony knew about - an evacuation had been ordered. Of course, no one bothered to listen at first - after all, they heard that damned siren thousands of times - what was one more time? 

So you can probably imagine their immense surprise when the three Zakus dropped in on them. 

The three Zakus sailed through the air, the green Mobile Suits surprisingly graceful as they descended. If anyone had been watching, they would have looked pretty in a way that a stopped up sink doesn't. The trio of Zakus flew down toward a nearby hillside, covered with a carpet of trees. They were led by Joe 02, the captain and Joe 01 following closely behind in perfect formation. If it was one thing cannon fodder excel at, it's looking flashy at the most inappropriate times. Inappropriate because it usually means that the said cannon fodder will be paying an unexpected visit to the Big Guy Upstairs. 

Today they were looking spectacularly flashy, their giant robots glinting impressively in the light and looking big and stuff. 

The three pilots angled their green Mobile Suits for a landing, looking even twice as flashy. Several things happened then, all of which bear little relevance to the main plot: first of all, Joe 02 was struck with a particularly strong sense of ominous foreboding (an image of screaming mimes brandishing sporks and mechanical pencils assailed him, courtesy of his overactive imagination) and he landed not-too-gracefully on the slope, the Zaku tripping and landing with a squelch face first into the mud - immediately losing any respect onlookers might have held for the lost impressiveness. Joe 01 immediately went down after his partner, his Zaku ploughing into the other Mobile Suit's foot and causing him to topple ridiculously over after Joe 02. The captain also followed suit, but he kept face - so to speak - even though it looked incredibly silly to see the three one-eyed Zakus go tumbling down the hillside. Which they proceeded to do, the great green mess ripping a large trough down the forested mountain and raising up a giant cloud of muck and dust, along with a healthy helping of park trees, completing botching their entrance. 

In fact, they made so much noise that their cover should have been blown. But no one noticed - the people of Side 7 were _that_ oblivious. They were also too busy being angry and irritated to take much notice of a new pipe line being dug through the mountainside: though they would have plenty of time to be astonished later on.  

It was a few minutes before the three Zeon suits skidded to an unimpressive, silly, and utterly laughable stop; narrowly avoiding flying right off the cliff not too far away. Joe 01 was the first to get his Mobile Suit to its feet, looking rightfully pissed at having his _one_ moment in the spotlight ruined. 

"What the _hell_?" he demanded hotly. 

A sheepishly silence from Joe 02, "Sorry...I, uh, tripped." 

"No _shit_!" Joe 01 exploded, three and a half times as hotly as before. He went off on a short rant regarding everything about Joe 02, from his ancestory to his hygiene and ending, almost as an afterthought, with: "What about the Feddies? Now everyone knows we're here 'cause of you!" 

The captain, who had pulled his Zaku II into a kneeling position, shook his head. No, the "Feddies" (which was just some nifty word that the animators thought would be pretty cool jargon for Earth Federation soldiers or whatever) hadn't seen them, and no one noticed their louder-than-the-depths-of-hell arrival. All took a moment of hushed silence, quite aware that this was a small miracle in itself. 

After the appropriate thirteen seconds of silence, Joe 01 got back onto business, finally noticing the base that was only a stone's throw from their position. He soon came to the brilliant deduction that _this_ was - no, _had_ to be - the miltary base/installation/thingie they were looking for. He congratulated himself for the discovery and decided it was high time to state the obvious: 

"Hey, ain't that our target, Cap'n?" he asked. The captain started to shake his head, decided to nod it instead and ended up doing some strange little maneuver that Joe 01 assumed was a half-assed version of a nod, "So that's the Feddie's Military Base Installation Thingie. Don't look so top secret to me." 

"That's probably because _it_ isn't." Joe 02 said helpfully. "It's the Top Secret Giant Robot(s) that're top secret." 

Joe 02's Zaku moved its giant hand in front of its chest. A gray hatch started to hiss open and decided to jam on the Zeon pilot before it was even halfway open - it took several kicks for it to smoothly slide the rest of the way open. Joe 02 stepped out, the face plate sliding back into his helmet: this did little but make his face look more flesh colored, instead of a green hew. However, unsurprisingly, he didn't look that much different from his comrades. He held up some binoculars and took a nice, long gander at the base. It was made with concrete and other nice stuff, and even had a cheerful smiley face painted on the flat top to brighten anyone's day. In fact, just about everything on the base had a smiley face - the tankers (for explosions, of course), the tanks, and the jets. Overall, a chipper, perky place with a personnel of not-so chipper, perky people. A few large trucks were parked nearby and... 

"...Hey, that's it!" said Joe 02, making the connection between the fact that _this_ was a Military Base Installation thingie, it was Earth Federation, and there were what looked amazingly like giant robot parts being transferred from the trucks to an elevator lift. He blinked, noticing that the siren that had been screaming since their arrival had suddenly shut off, "Wonder where everyone is?" 

"Musta been evacuated. Or something. Whatever," put in Joe 01 irately, steadily ignoring the girl running down the street a few blocks away, "Come on, let's go kick some Feddie ass." 

"..." said the captain in hearty approval. He was privately hoping that the two would get shot down or something and give him some peace and quiet. 

Frau Bo ran frantically down the street. She ran for a variety of reasons, most of which aren't of any particular interest to the audience. Maybe it was because she felt she needed the exercise. Maybe she'd even seen the invading Zeon Mobile Suits. Hell, maybe she was just doing it because she had nothing better to do. Maybe it was all those things... 

But it wasn't. Oh no, this couldn't be farther from the truth, which was this: she'd heard the beckoning siren-call of the script. The brown-haired girl somehow _knew_ the story was falling behind its schedule, and she now was hauling her cute little ass down the paved street so she could get the main characters all in one place. Of course, she was in ridiculously good shape and it showed - she lived several miles away from the boy she called her "neighbor" and she'd ran all the way from her house to his at breakneck speed. She jogged across the lawn and almost slipped on the wet grass before regaining her balance. She didn't unceremoniously fall however, instead pounding up the stairs and letting herself into the house, RPG-style. 

In other words, barging right in, uninvited. 

Anyway, she had a _Mission_, one of Importance and Other Fun Stuff. Frau went first to the kitchen, and lifted up the coverlet of what looked like a plate of food. Indeed, it was food, but the coverlet had a thick layer of dust, which meant it'd been sitting out for quite a while. It might have been days since the food had seen any light. Or was it weeks? Or even months? 

Try several _years_. 

"Am-ur-ro..." Frau sighed in exaggeration to no one in particular. She let the dust-covered napkin drop back onto the solidified food and headed toward the stairs to the second floor. She knew she had a tight schedule and she really didn't have time for this. So she pounded up those stairs, not stopping onto she pounded right into the (curiously) one room at the end of the staircase. 

A boy was sitting before a desk, hunched over and fixing something not even worth mentioning. He had a head of curly brown hair and typically angsty eyes that were busy staring at whatever he was working on. His blue-jacketed back was to the door, and he didn't seem to notice Frau barge into his room. So Frau barged in a second time; in addition to that, she was waving her arms over her head for good measure after she'd kicked the door in with a deafening bang against the wall. 

_Boom!_

"Oh...uh...hey...um..." he blinked at her owlishly. He apparently couldn't for the life of him recall her name - come to think of it, he didn't even know _who_ she was and was presently wondering just what the hell this stranger was doing in his house. 

"Frau Bo - I'm only your _neighbor_, Amuro" Frau huffed. 

"Um...I…er…forgot......sorry..." Amuro muttered, not sounding the least bit sorry at all. 

Frau huffed again, "Well, what're you _doing_ here? Didn't you hear the siren-thingamabob?" 

Amuro shook his head, his face wearing a fascinating mixture between angst and pure confusion. He hadn't the slightest idea just _what_ was going on, and it didn't help that people were barging right into his house (and his room) and asking such confusing questions. _Siren? _The thought wandered about, not quite connecting with anything useful. He didn't know what a siren was, did he? It couldn't be that wailing noise with the crazy blinking lights that sounded about two times a month, could it? Not the voice on the loudspeakers babbling stuff about "Evacuation" and other nonsense either? 

Frau made a face at the blank expression on Amuro's features, which, if possible, was getting even blanker as time passed, "Look, we've got to go. Now. I don't know where. But off we go!" As she had been speaking, the brunette had been sidling closer and closer to the curly headed boy. "Come along now! We've a lot of stuff to do and not much time to do it." 

"Huh?" Amuro said intelligently. He'd completely lost track of the conversation. 

The young girl made an exasperated noise, glancing around for something to vent her increasing stress on. Her eyes fell on Haro... 

_[Author's Note: Which, in explanation, is supposed to be a robot that Amuro made but really looks more like a giant tennis ball with eyes painted on. But that's beside the point.]_

...and she suddenly had this terrible urge to _kick it. The green round thing was bobbling up and down trying to get everyone's attention, and being a general nuisance as it rolled around and got tangled up in anyone's legs and tripped them. Frau glanced from the robot to Amuro's (rather conveniently open) window, wondering how far the damned thing would fly. Of course you had to consider wind resistance, and then there was the whole aerodynamics thing...if the wind was really bad, it probably wouldn't fly very far, but if it was Just So, then maybe... _

Now, while Frau was debating over the matter of relieving her stress on Haro, Amuro had been staring at the girl. He was still waiting for the answer to his rather unintelligent question and had noticed Frau turning ominously to his beloved robot. The fifteen year old hastily got off his seat: 

"Okay, let's go! No time to lose!" Amuro said briskly and hastily swept Haro up in his arms before Frau could inflict any physical damage to it. "I'll drive." 

Frau looked mildly disappointed for a moment, but nodded and went downstairs, satisfied that her Mission was nearing completion. And then she suddenly wondered why a fifteen year old would know how to drive and her spirits dropped somewhat. _Oh, crap, this is going to suck_, was really the only thought she nursed as she headed downstairs. 

        Hopefully Amuro wouldn't do something completely idiotic and drive them into a tree or a random ditch – she still had a lot of things on her To-Do list and dying before the anime was over wasn't exactly one of them. 

Somewhere else of no great importance, a Zeon ship was huddling behind an asteroid not too far from this rather angry Side. It was a nice pretty green color and, for some unexplained reason, had a bridge that looked surprising like Darth Vader's head. Disappointingly, it wasn't quite as badass, though it came close. Of course, close doesn't cut it, but whatever. _Anyway, ignoring the narrator's completely unnecessary monologue, we will take an agonizingly slow pan of the screen toward the bridge of this ship….…_

        "What do you mean, 'we ran out of red paint'?!" 

     "Well, y'see, Commander Aznable, we, uh…"

           "Screw the excuses!" The sound of someone smacking his forehead. The point of this was in fact utterly useless, because instead of jarring some sense into his head, the speaker merely ended giving himself a headache. He wisely refrained from doing it a second time, now nursing a monster migraine. "First of all, where _is the paint? How much of it is left? And what __else do we have?"_

    Someone sheepishly scuffed the floor with a boot. "We ended up using it in a practical joke on Giren, probably only one can, and we've only got baby pink."

          "A prank? You used my favorite color on a _prank?" Another explosion._

   The soldier hastily tried to redeem himself, "Well…er…it was a very _good prank, if you know what I mean." He abruptly found a spot on the ceiling very interesting, looking everywhere but at the higher-ranking officer. "And pink's a very lovely color, sir. Y'know, I hear it's a hit with the ladies…"_

    Char Aznable was rubbing wearily at the imaginary eyebrows of his white mask. Not _this again._

        "You know I don't swing that way, Jackson," he sighed. This was really too much for him – first, his uniform had shrunk in the wash, then the Trojan-Horse-That-Wasn't had gone off and disappeared somewhere on him (despite the frantic orders to pull over), and now this whole fiasco with the paint. "We've been over this, soldier. _You go straight, __I go curved. Is that simple enough for you?"_

          "Yes, sir."  

    "And you know I can't be very badass in a _pink Zaku." _

          "Yes, sir."

    "Do you hear the word 'pink' anywhere in the '_Red Comet'?"_

       There was a moment of delay as Jackson thought very hard about this.  "…Uh……no, sir."

    Char sighed. The man didn't get it – he was clearly a lost cause. His headache was getting bigger and bigger just listening to the officer. "Forget it." He began to dismiss Jackson, but thought better of it, beckoning him back; "First of all, you and your buddies are going to buy me that paint back once we get to Side 7. Second, I want your men to get to work on painting my Zaku. I'm a main character, after all – it won't do for me to be mistaken for some simple grunt." The commander wondered if he should get some aspirin or something. "I'll just have to deal with pink."

        "Yes, sir."

    Jackson beat a hasty retreat as Char flopped down onto the command chair. He wasn't having a good day today, and he seriously doubted it would get much better as it progressed. Not to mention that his shrunken uniform was giving him _such a wedgie…_

     …Before we continue any further into this new character, it's a good idea to elaborate on the man known as Char Aznable. Obviously he was the "villain" of the anime – he was smart, handsome, and…uh…

       ….Well, er, now that I think about it, that's really about it. He was simply badass. Or he _would have been, if things had been going better for him today. His uniform was bugging the hell out of him; the pants had shrunk down into tights (embarrassing), and his tunic was clinging to his body a little too tightly for his own comfort (some of the crew were throwing him appreciative glances). Not that he minded the attention, but he'd rather get those looks from better looking people. A nice uke, maybe. _

      Despite how appealing the idea of jumping in the sack with an uke sounded, he really just wanted _something to take his mind of his incredibly crappy day._

       By some utterly amazing coincidence, the same Side that this Zeon ship was going was the very same Side that the elusive White Base was headed for. Char very quickly found something to distract him, though he was less than pleased with his now pink Zaku. 

         It was very hard to instill fear in the hearts of his enemies when he had to look so very, very stupid.

        Due mostly to the laziness of the narrator, it is sufficient to say that between the trio of Zakus making a raid on the base and the destined meeting between the Zeon ship and the White Base, many things went _boom. And stuff exploded, much to the audience's delight._

        And it was good. 

Game Over Or Continue?

     Heh, I lied. Looks like I'll just finish the episode in the next chapter. Sorry it took so long to upload :p  Again, this deviates from the anime quite a bit, but whatever. *shrugs* 

       Suggestions, feedback, death threats, reviews, or requests, feel free to **e-mail me at ****shampoo_famira@yahoo.com or ****IM me at ****S Duo Maxwell 02. Thanks for reading. ^^**

 - Famira Damaris        

         
  
  



	5. It's Called a Bad Title

**It's Called a Tribute**   
by Famira Damaris 

**Disclaimer**: Feh, don't own Gundam. Wish I did...I'd be able to glomp onto Bernie, Bright, Loran and Camille! *huggles a group of plushees*   
**Author's Notes**: Fifth installation of this little odd series. Anywaays.... Shounen-ai, shojo-ai and other stuff running amuck. This is really just random stupidity, so...er...yeah. Kinda changed/cut some parts (for example, Mirai is in a scene Frau is supposed to be in, and I glossed over the scene with Frau and her mom dying – mostly because I forgot about it. xX;). *The shot part makes sense if you saw a little article in Newtype with Yoshikazu Yasuhiko about a "fan-service" picture. It was so hilarious. XD 

Amuro starts whining, unplanned panty shots*, Kai's entrance, and the Joes meet their demise… 

And to the tribute part, to the writer that inspired me: thanks.   
  
_Italics_ for emphasis and sound-effects 

--------------------------------   
It's Called a Bad Title   
-------------------------------- 

So chaos was breaking out and stuff on this particular Colony. Zakus were running around and blowing up stuff while the residents were finally bowled over by their immense surprise, which ran something like this: 

"Damn, I could _really_ go for some coffee, honey." 

"Coffee? Black or what?" 

"..Uh…let's see…how about something new? Something with a zap. Something like…well, like those rather dangerous looking giant robots walking outside." It was around this time that the speaker would finally realize that there was something very wrong with the picture, and, torn between being astonished and angry, would break into a panic, which resulted in either running into a wall or trying to burrow his nose into a newspaper and hope that if he couldn't see the Zakus, they would go away. 

Which, of course, they didn't. But it's really beside the point what the majority of the colony was doing at the moment. 

At this time, Amuro Ray and Frau Bo had beaten a "dignified" retreat (actually, Amuro had crashed his dinky car into a parked truck and they'd been forced to walk) to the nearest shelter (a local wine cellar) and were now busy getting very tipsy and happy on their newfound stash. Of course, this was screwing up the pacing of the anime horribly, but the two teenagers were too drunk to notice at the moment. Amuro giggled as he finished his second bottle. 

"Y'know…" he slurred incoherently. "I keep getting' this feelin' that shomeone's….shomeone's…" 

…Not pleased with you geniuses screwing up my story? 

"Yeah, shomethin' like that," Amuro agreed with a nod, grinning from ear-to-ear. After a pause, he politely offered the narrator some wine. The said narrator kindly refused. Frau cackled for no apparent reason and began trying to climb up the wall, for some reason believing that she was Spider-man. It was a pretty sad sight, although the male part of the audience certainly wasn't complaining – they were getting all sorts of interesting panty shots after all. Which, as it was, had no bearing whatsoever on the story. In fact, it was rather distracting. 

First off, I don't like my characters getting drunk. Bad example for the children and all that crap – _Frau_! Jesus, I hope no kids just saw that….Secondly, I just made this promise to Bright that I'd get you from here to him. Since you're taking your damn sweet time, Amuro, I'm going to have to interfere with this whole arc of the story. 

"You're gonna –" 

Damn straight. The godly powers the narrator came to play and Amuro and Frau suddenly found themselves sitting in a shelter (a _real_ one this time), both nursing a considerable hang-over as punishment. Amuro hissed, holding his head. His first reaction was to angst: but that meant he'd have to do it in a corner and be quiet about it. That only left the whining. And whine he did. 

"This can't be fai –" He broke off. Damn. No one was listening to him. In fact, it was far too loud to be heard. And no one was going to deny his right to Whine. You couldn't even bitch properly if there wasn't any one able to hear you. Fortunately, the script had a solution. 

"What script?" 

Here. Read these lines. 

Amuro turned to the page of the current scene and read stiffly, "'I Got To Go, Frau. Dad's Gotta Do Something About This.'" Glancing about for a man fitting the description in the script, Amuro added, still reading off the paper. "'We'll All Die If We Stay Here.'" 

… 

…That sucked. Horribly. **-_-;*** Just…just go. 

Our "hero" pranced out of the shelter and ran off down the road, looking for someone to bitch at. By the same string of coincidences that had been bringing our story together up to this point, he was running a straight line toward his father – who had suddenly found himself standing next to the Top Secret Robot and wondering what happened to his discounted coffee he'd been drinking. Bright, at this very moment, was breathing a sigh of relief, glad he'd gotten rid of the old coot. 

>>> 

So while people were running into walls and Amuro was looking for a victim, other characters were joining in. Because the Pegasus-class-Trojan-Horse -Known-As-White-Base-That-Is-Made-of-Metal-and-Not-Wood had docked, some people got the "brilliant" idea to let all the angry Side 7 citizens pile onboard. Appearing out of the masses was Mirai Yashima and Sayla Mass. Sayla had "mysterious" origins. Mirai herself was surprisingly normal. They were helping the irate civilians onboard. 

At the moment, though, they were busy sharing meaningful looks. 

…hey… 

Before they got any further, several other characters joined in. Ryu made his appearance, swaggering and looking impressive and all. Shooting disappointed glances that held all sorts of suggestive subtext at one another, Mirai and Sayla did the Stuff They Were Supposed to Do. Sayla was wondering if she'd be there for an obligatory panty shot. Mirai was wondering if Sayla would treat her to dinner. In walked Kai Shidan. 

Now Kai was just a plain Nice Guy. He helped elderly women across the street, housed the homeless, even picked up litter. But for some unexplained reason, everyone seemed to avoid him. Maybe it was because he just looked shady. Or maybe there was something on his face that he wasn't aware of. He really wished someone would tell him – all he wanted to do was help people. Beaming in a way he thought friendly, he waved: 

"Hi, I'm Ka –" 

Before he knew it, Sayla, for no reason whatsoever, had slapped him. 

"You're _so_ selfish!" She glared. And glared again if he didn't catch it the first time. 

Kai cowered. He had caught it the first time. "I-I was only saying hi." **;_;**

"Don't make faces at me!" Sayla's eyes narrowed dangerously. 

Kai tried again. "I wasn't –" 

"Don't even bothering arguing," Ryu clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Sayla, why don't you and Mirai go out and look for survivors?" 

Mirai nodded. Sayla winked at Mirai. Kai wondered what he'd done to deserve this unwarranted abuse. Mirai caught the wink and returned it with a secret little smile that everyone pretty much saw. Ryu nodded sagely, as if he had planned the whole thing. Kai, starting to perceive all the yuri undertones, wondered if he should be suffering a nosebleed or not. 

He wasn't the only one. e_e 

>>> 

By this time, Amuro had stumbled upon the Top Secret Giant Robot. By another freakish stroke of luck, the manual came into his possession – but it wasn't filled with pretty pictures, so he ignored it. He had more important things to be doing – stomping up to his father, he proceeded to unleash the full-potential of his Whine. Bitching first, giant ass-kicking robots later. 

Tem Ray blinked, clueless, at his son. "Where's my coffee?" 

" – and I've got a hang-over the size of Luna II, all because –" 

"But I paid fifty cents for it…I got a _discount_." 

Amuro started to tear at the eyes. Why wasn't his father listening to him? Amuro was so unloved, it wasn't fair. None of this was fair, why was he even in the story if no one cared? His father was rambling about weather now, still trying to locate his lost Styrofoam cup of coffee. At that very moment, Amuro suddenly suffered a change from angsty to just plain irritated. Enough with the coffee! And who the hell cared about the weather? There had to be a way to shut Tem up. 

His eyes, drifting about, landed on the Top Secret Giant Robot. Wait a minute - he _did_ have the manual…and it wouldn't take long for him to figure out the controls to dropkick the old man out of sight… 

Arriving at this precise and inappropriate moment, the trio of Zakus trampled in. Joe 02 was the first to make his entrance, nearly tripping again – this time over a parked bus – with the commander and Joe 01 following. Disgruntled, they stomped right past the Top Secret Robot as Tem and Amuro ogled. 

"Where the hell _is_ it?" Joe 01 whined. 

"…" 

Joe 02 was in a panic now, looking frantically about for anyone resembling a mime armed with explosive mechanical pencils. 

"Answer me-e-e-e!" 

Amuro sucked in an offended breath – the whole conversation had been broadcast, completely audible to the outside, and he'd heard Joe 01. His eyes were clouding over with red (in angst-shades of course). No one. That is, _no one_, out-whines _Amuro_. A rival needed to be seen to and disposed of. 

Forgetting about dropkicking Tem, Amuro hoped into the Top Secret Giant Robot known now as Gundam. Cue the action sequences. Surprisingly, Amuro kicked ass pretty quickly: mostly because his pride had been insulted. The Joes, of course, met their doom while the audience wore a blood-thirsty grin the whole time. 

_Whoosh_, went Gundam 

_Ow_, said the commander's Zaku and promptly blew up. 

_Sucks to be him_, said the remaining Zaku, finally noticing the beam saber slicing through it. _Aw, damn. Sucks to be me_, it went and blew up too. 

Joe 02's fears of explosions proved to be right. Tem Ray, during the fighting, fell into a Plot-hole and stayed there, still quite befuddled with the whole deal. It didn't improve his situation due to the fact he finally remembered he left his coffee with that Bright kid. Mirai and Sayla vanished off, only to reappear on White Base/Trojan Horse/Wooden Horse/Thing with matching smug expressions. Kai hid in his room, afraid that if he came out he'd get slapped again. Ryu wondered if there were planes to fly around in. And Amuro, picking up Frau with Gundam, finally got to whine to _someone_. 

Basically, the story was finally getting somewhere.   


**_Game Over or Continue?_**   
>>> 

Damn, I haven't updated in forever. Kinda short and crappy "chapter". ^^; Sorry for ignoring this so long. I got so distracted with other things (and I finally got into oekakis, so if you want to see some of my Gundam ones, e-mail me). I wanna do "Tributes" for other series, dammit! XD Anyway, feedback is appreciated – sucks? Decent? That sort of thing. ^^; As a plug – if you've seen _Turn A Gundam_, check out my one-shot Sochie Heim fic **By a Moon's Light**. I know a lot of things got changed for **It's a Tribute** – mostly because I didn't feel like watching the episodes again and decided to try to do this from memory. ^^; 

Comments, suggestions, flames, feel free to **e-mail **me at **shampoo_famira@yahoo.com** or **AIM **me at **S Duo Maxwell 02**. Anyway, thanks for reading this completely random and bizarre "twist" of _Mobile Suit Gundam_. 

- Famira Damaris 


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